r/MurderedByWords 13d ago

CaN'T FinD AnYoNE tO hIrE

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u/jeremybeadlesfingers 13d ago edited 13d ago

Brain Flakes

To be honest, I’d be reluctant to work for a company which caters to the tastes of zombies too.

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u/FelixGoldenrod 13d ago

Do you think they come with raisins?

Y'know, for raisin the dead.

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u/SinisterKid 13d ago

Or some milk?

Y'know, to milk these puns for as much karma as we can get.

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u/Myonenonpornacc 13d ago

Or for Cereal. Y'know, for "I like cereal."

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u/arcaneresistance 13d ago

Cereal pun is always in the comments

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u/Dyanpanda 13d ago

My friend is a vegetarian zombie. All she wants is grrraaaainnnnnsss.

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u/Myonenonpornacc 12d ago

And my roommate is a body builder zombie and all he wants is gaaaaaaiiiiins

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u/TheBraveSirRobin 12d ago

My buddy is a plumber zombie and all he wants are Draaaiiiins

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u/parthinaxe 12d ago

My friends friend is an emo zombie and all he wants is chaaaaaiiiinnnnssss

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u/thoruktor 12d ago

My geometry teacher was a zombie. All he wants are plaaaaaannnneeessss.

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u/TwiceCookedPorkins 13d ago

GRAAAAAAAAAINS

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u/IrritableGourmet 12d ago

A friend and I spent almost 2 hours coming up with specialty zombie noises once.

What do vegan zombies say? Graaaaaains

What do physics teacher zombies say? Inclined plaaaaaanes

What does Nostradamus' zombie say? Quatraaaaaains

What do mechanical engineer zombies say? Straaaaains

What does Billy May's zombie say? Gets rid of staaaaains.

What do Karen zombies do? Complaaaaaain

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u/Bubbalicia 12d ago

Omg my husband and I make up Zombie Songs based on famous songs lol I thought we were weird!:

“I’m Only Happy Eating Brains” “Blame it on the Brains” “Let The Brains Fall Down” etc

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u/EremiticFerret 13d ago

This kind of anti-zombie racism is appreciate here on Reddit!

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u/smoothmann 13d ago

I AMMMM.......

ALLLLLREADY DEADDD

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u/NoMidnight5366 13d ago

So maximizing profits is ok for businesses just not for employees who have better job offers.

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u/CoolestMingo 13d ago edited 12d ago

It's silly right? Let's recreate the experiment, but offer $50/hr and see how many people come back. Let's try again at $30/hr. etc.

Let's say this dude is around Odessa, TX. Looking 2 seconds on google, a job at UPS as a warehouse worker offers:

$100 Weekly Retention bonus plus $15.00/hr. paid weekly for Package Handlers depending on Shift! Shift: Sunrise/Preload (3:00 AM - 9:30 AM)

But what if you don't like lifting, well, 1 minute of searching later

Security Officer Securitas Security Services USA, Inc. Odessa, TX SALARY $17 - $18 / Per Hour JOB TYPE Full-Time

Another:

Retail Stocking Associate $16.50/hr Harbor Freight Tools Odessa, TX, USA4

Again

Retail Sales Associate $16.50/hr Harbor Freight Tools ODESSA, TX

Mind you, I found these are the jobs that actually post their wages online. This dude is literally pissing in the wind and wondering why he's covered in piss. The terms of employment have changed and this guy is too ignorant to realize that he isn't offering a good deal.

Edit: spelling

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u/ubermeisters 13d ago

Fuck working for Securitas though, for real.

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u/Aardvark_Man 12d ago

I've never heard of them.
What's the issue?

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u/kjlwillycoyote 12d ago

They pay shit, work you as long possible (heard more than one say they had to do a 24hr shift), and treat you like shit and as if you're replaceable at a moments notice.

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u/Ex-Pxls-Mod 12d ago

Yup, until you actually call them on their shit and suddenly you're the only one who can come in and how could you be so rude

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u/NotASequentkiller 12d ago

They also own the modern Pinkertons.

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u/FerricNitrate 12d ago edited 12d ago

That's odd for me considering they were lovely with my dad after his cancer diagnosis. Held a position for him whenever he was feeling able. Then after his dementia started - a type that only made it so he had trouble talking (for the first couple years) - they shifted him to posts that didn't require much, if any, verbal interaction.

They certainly didn't pay much, but they took far better care of him than we ever expected up until he finally went on disability/early retirement.

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u/kjlwillycoyote 12d ago

It's highly dependant on who your supervisor is. It isn't unheard of for some to have a decent work relationship but the majority I've seen are super awful. I see lots of different places that use them and the majority are just bad. I'm a trucker so I get to see lots of them.

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u/Responsenotfound 12d ago

But job seekers don't know that. They do know part time manual labor for low pay sucks ass though.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 11d ago

[deleted]

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u/jwgronk 12d ago

Lol, the actual fuckin Pinkertons.

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u/DerekStu 12d ago

I literally just finished RDR2 so this resonated

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u/iNEEDheplreddit 12d ago edited 12d ago

It's weird how history repeats.

I was listening to a shirt history of the bubonic plague that wiped out vasts about of the labour force. Soon after there was a redressing of the labour market that the rich hated. They hated having to toil in their own fields because the workforce had vanished. They hated having to pay 2 and 3 times what they did before for the same work. But what really irked them was the fact that the poor could the do the things they could only do before. Like enjoying their lives and not working to survive.

God help them if a virus even more deadly strikes

Edit: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5n4cLSn4JNKOAsLNtGwtXp?si=FyVFGoopSnOD6Vhzludr3A&utm_source=copy-link&dl_branch=1

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u/Sacket 12d ago

I get what you're saying, but the whole point of the labor movement behind the plague wasn't that the serfs could "enjoy life more". It was that they could move elsewhere for better pay. They weren't locked into their plot of land. It also swung the other way. Many labour saving technologies were invented because of the die off. I bet /r/askhistorians would have a field day with this question.

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u/Pain--In--The--Brain 12d ago

I just found this recent post by a professor at WUSTL covering this topic. It's pretty interesting, in case anyone else was curious. That said, it would be interesting to see what /r/askhistorians thinks.

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u/AussieHyena 12d ago

I know it was a typo... but a shirt's history of the bubonic plague would indeed be short.

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u/Polexican1 12d ago

The shirts history would not, the owner's would likely be.

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u/AussieHyena 12d ago

Pretty sure they burnt the person's clothing. So in some ways, the shirt's history was the same length as the person's history.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/CoolestMingo 12d ago

Exactly! Who but the most desperate of people goes "oh boy! A part-time, poorly paid, under the table, rural, and likely shit job for an entitled boss that leads to nowhere! This is for me!"? Like, come on! It's a one-off and they expect people to be groveling for the opportunity to move around a bunch of "brain flakes." Like, you can go to a business afterwards and put damned "brain flakes inc." as a reference. You have a day hauling brain flakes that really puts you ahead of all the other potential brain flakes unloaders.

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u/Petsweaters 12d ago

I keep hearing about this "labor shortage," but they sure need to rephrase that as a wage shortage

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u/hippofant 12d ago

Dude did a follow-up tweet, saying median household income in their city is $30K, so ~$14/hour.

Web search shows their company HQ is in Wills Point TX, pop < 4000, median household income $33.6K. Another Twitter user says their warehouse is in Canton TX, pop < 4000, median household income $53K.

BUT both are within an hour of downtown Dallas, pop 1.3M, median household income $52.9K. Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area has population 7.7M, median household income $59K.

So if you're one of the 4000 people living in Canton, you could work for him for $14/hour, or drive an hour into Dallas and find any number of $16+/hour warehouse jobs.

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u/RussianBot4826374 13d ago

That's an excellent way to put it. It highlights the "we deserve it, they don't" mentality.

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u/SpatialCandy69 13d ago

They LITERALLY only consider employees assets. Just like cattle or bread or machinery.

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u/chrisk9 13d ago

Not just assets. They treat employees as expenses to be reduced primarily.

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u/Mattbryce2001 12d ago edited 12d ago

Both. They're assets to be maximized, and expenses to be reduced. In other words, be understaffed and work your employees to death for miserly pay and fuck them over whenever possible.

Edit: or just make them slaves.

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u/Solonys 12d ago

Why call them human resources if they aren't meant to be strip-mined?

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u/UnknownAverage 13d ago

This is a huge part of the problem with our economic system: employers act like they are gods, and if we're good enough and bow down to them, they will bless us with jobs. They think they are entitled to cheap, high-quality labor on their own terms.

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u/ArGarBarGar 12d ago

This is what happens when everyone in politics jumps on the “job creator” bandwagon. Assume the employee is the one who should be thankful some warm-hearted business owner thought to provide them with a job out of the goodness of their heart.

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u/melpomenestits 12d ago

Yeah it turns out giving the profit to people who "own" things rather than people who do things creates a bit of pathology.

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u/apoxpred 12d ago

Shame no one ever warned us this would happen...

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u/klkfahu 13d ago

$14/hr and no benefits on a job where you're likely to injure yourself? I'm shocked.

Curious what Molson pays himself for the same job. Think he factors in health insurance for himself & his family too?

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u/xinehp 12d ago

Not only that, but that sounds like gig labor. You don't even get a full days' pay.

Gig labor should be double what a normal job makes. The company saves by cutting back hours, and contractors have to pay their own taxes via 1099.

I have been trying to find a handyman just to help around my house and it's impossible to find anyone for less than $100/hr in my city.

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u/Geist002 13d ago

I can’t say I blame them for not taking the job.Just looking at the workload and 14 bucks part time = no benefits if you injure yourself.

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u/MysticalMummy 13d ago

Also "cash", implies it's not a real job and it's all under the table, which means no contracts so he can fuck you over however he wants.

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u/ndu867 13d ago

You might not even get paid. Happens all the time for cash jobs.

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u/TheThankUMan22 13d ago

Also whats that a few hours job? So $42? Its rural texas so at least an hour drive. You will probably have to rest for a couple hours after. Now thats only a $7 an hour job.

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u/loradan 13d ago

Texas: Look, we can have immigrants do crap jobs that I don't want to do for next to nothing.

Also Texas: Build the wall!!!!

Again Texas: Why can't we find people to do the crap jobs we don't want to do for next to nothing????

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u/thesaltwatersolution 13d ago

This also applies to the UK with Brexit.

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u/SadArchon 13d ago

especially the UK with Brexit

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u/EagenVegham 13d ago

It's amazing how fast some people went from "Fuckin Poles" to "Why don't the Polish come here to drive our trucks anymore?"

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u/PrionBacon 12d ago

Schrodinger's Immigrant: simultaneously lazy and taking all the jobs

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u/i_am_your_attorney 12d ago

My favorite is the “Mexicans are rapists and drug dealers” v “Mexicans are stealing our jobs” conundrum. Like, what is it exactly that you do for a living where this is an issue?

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u/leshake 12d ago

Where're me crisps? Must be the fookin' Poles fault.

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u/about831 12d ago

Fun fact: in England microchips are called microcrisps

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u/KuriousKhemicals 12d ago

I don't believe you but I'm going to pretend that's true anyway.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/africanrhino 13d ago

Yeah , can’t wait for them normans to leave..

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/0011001100111000 13d ago

Yes, exactly how antisemites think that Jews are an interior race, but they still somehow secretly run the world...

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u/moonboyforallyouknow 13d ago

Which is really hard to do when you never go outside.

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u/ban-me_harder_daddy 13d ago

edgelords are the interior race!

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u/__red__5 13d ago

And now with Space Lazers!

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u/Affectionate_Pin_880 13d ago

They are powerful weak, that is why we must crush them with maximum force, while also keeping up the poverty and disenfranchisement.

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u/Bacon_Moustache 13d ago

Why is no one asking what the fuck Brain Flakes are!?

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u/One_pop_each 13d ago

I’m an American who just got stationed in East Anglia for the next few years.

I am eating all your snacks. I’m sorry but they are so much better.

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u/KingBenjamin97 13d ago

Yeah but we finally got rid of all those trained NHS staff! Awful, well educated tax paying foreigners coming over here helping our health service, what benefit scroungers! Not in my Britain!!! XD I really can’t deal with the morons that thought it was a smart vote

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u/Oni-Macaroni 13d ago

The fact that nandos cant get chicken is a national disgrace

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u/Fizzydrinkupmybutt 13d ago

Hiring immigrants to do cheap labor only allows companies to continue underpaying

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u/shadowbca 13d ago

Yeah, I dont think he was supporting it but rather remarking on the irony that they are stopping a system that, while flawed, benefitted them

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u/mirrorspirit 13d ago

A lot of people: We can't pay more for this job because then young people won't try to get a better job.

Those same people: Why aren't young people lining up to get this job they shouldn't want? Must be because they're lazy.

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u/Timerider42424 13d ago

My workplace is paying new hires at least $20/hr to do a similar job. And they still can’t get people to come in, because everyone knows how crappy the place is.

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u/ThumpyDumpkins 13d ago

I make about $22.50 an hour shopping/delivering for Instacart. Not bad for "unskilled labor".

I have no set schedule and can take time off on a whim with no threat of losing that income stream, no coworkers or "office politics", no manager breathing down my neck, I wear my own clothes, I can listen to music the whole time, I get cash tips...

Ain't no "regular job" willing or able to compete with that...

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u/leshake 12d ago

That's actually pretty skilled. I've had some pretty dumb people do my Instacart. Knowing the substitutions seems hard.

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u/ThumpyDumpkins 12d ago

any idiot can shop for Instacart.

But you need good communication skills/time management skills/etc to do it WELL.

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u/Beatrix_BB_Kiddo 13d ago

Are you in Texas

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u/SagaStrider 13d ago

I used to do that, loose stacked freight, and roller unload. I was making $1200/WK. Granted, I was driving too, and solo, but no way in hell is 14/hr worth it, especially in a hot climate. That's fucking misery.

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u/PM_MeUrGiantTits_Plz 13d ago

$1200/WK

For perspective for others, that's $30/hour.

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u/SagaStrider 13d ago edited 12d ago

I was working 80+ hours per week though.

Edit: just for comparison, I was netting 50k/year driving OTR before that working roughly the same hours, and was rarely home (I have a family, so that mattered). But it got me the experience to move on. I made 60k/yr delivering. My next job after that was installing insulation for 15/hr, net about 50k/yr because the building season didn't go through winter. But I was home every night. Really, it was all shit pay, by any measure.

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u/Telvin3d 13d ago

So, you were doing it for about $14/hour. The same that’s being offered here.

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u/ndu867 13d ago

Even worse. He was spending most of his time driving. Truck drivers get paid way more than $14.. so he was way more underpaid than these guys.

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u/future_you22 13d ago

Nah we just drive alot. 16 hour day and spending the night in a shitty truck stop miles from home isn't fun.

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u/LucidMoments 13d ago

DOT would like to see your logs

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u/RandomStallings 12d ago

More doctored than an L.A. plastic surgery mega center.

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u/russdb 13d ago

we got drivers that do the same thing and make over 100k a year easy.

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u/PM_ME_UR_WUT 12d ago

Part of making 100k is you spend most of your time away from home. If you're single and got no commitments to stay in town, it's great money. But that doesn't apply to a lot of people.
And they're surprised there's a driver shortage.

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u/Meme_Lord_420_ 13d ago

Lol there's no way he'd do that though

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u/RugerRedhawk 13d ago

Oof. That's actually equivalent to $12/hr you were working for considering the second 40 would be 1.5x as an hourly.

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u/I2eflex 13d ago

Lol bro

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u/chaposagrift 13d ago

Would you believe his next two dozen tweets are insane libertarian nonsense???

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u/sophisting 13d ago

I like this comment he got:

Supply chain economist here for one of the largest shippers and receivers in the world,

35,000 palleted needs about a 6 man team and easily should be paying 18-22/hr plus benefits.

He basically responded that instead, he just overworked and underpaid his 2 guys and was proud of that.

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u/johnsnowthrow 13d ago

Who wants to bet this guy complains about illegal immigrants, but the only reason he was able to overwork and underpay his 2 guys is because they're illegal immigrants?

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u/Enlighten_YourMind 13d ago

Wait, but what odds do you give a bet that has a 100% certainty of hitting? 🤔

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u/djlewt 13d ago

98% certainly, 2% chance he was grifting/overworking poor dumb relatives.

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u/Dijit-Datez 13d ago

It’s not a bet then

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u/PlacidPlatypus 13d ago

The starting place to figure that out would be, how many "100% certain" bets in a row could you make before you fucked up and took one that wasn't actually 100%?

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/DonnieJuniorsEmails 13d ago

unemployment is making poor people into millionaires who never need jobs...

according to my republican dad

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u/the_breekiest 12d ago

I hate that POV, like if unemployment is paying more than your shitty company than I think your shitty company is the problem and not the unemployment.

Be miserable while having to make shitty pay at a job that sucks that cant support you.

or be miserable and not have to deal with a shitty job that cant support you

I mean either way you can't support yourself right? what option you think people are gonna pick

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u/CTMalum 13d ago

One of the strangest conversation I was a party to went something like this. I was at a blackjack table in the Poconos, and I ended up at a table with two guys who both worked in snow removal in New York City. Rare meeting, so they got to talking shop. They started talking about their employees, and they both discussed how they employed illegal Mexican immigrants and loved them: they worked hard for low pay and didn’t complain. In almost the same breath, they started talking about how illegal immigrants are bleeding the country dry and how we need to start shipping them back to Mexico en masse. The cognitive dissonance was so massive that it generated fucking gravity.

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u/Kurokishi_Maikeru 13d ago

I love when that happens and I don't have the strength to resist calling out the hypocrisy.

Also,

The cognitive dissonance was so massive that it generated fucking gravity.

Brilliant

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u/CTMalum 13d ago

I couldn’t even respond. I just sat in disbelief over what I was hearing. Like, how two grown fucking men could have that conversation and not pick up just a hint of irony. The look on my face must have been telling because the dealer gave me a knowing look, but I couldn’t speak.

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u/MaritMonkey 13d ago

Working adjacent to construction projects with a worker's comp lawyer: the same employers who were writing checks minus SS/Medicare/Medicaid to employees they knew weren't eligible to benefit from those programs, bitching over company-funded drinks about how all these illegals are ruining the country, living off our Hard Earned Tax Dollars.

I was very glad that talking at those sorts of lunches was above my pay grade.

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u/ScoutsOut389 12d ago

On election night 2016 my Uber driver, who was from some Eastern European country said he was sad he wasn’t able to vote, because he wanted to vote for Trump because “immigrants are ruining this country.” I said “aren’t you an immigrant?” He responded “I don’t mean immigrants like me.”

Yeah buddy. I know EXACTLY what you really meant.

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u/finny_d420 12d ago

Friend of mines son has same issue with his dad. Dad & his parents from Scotland. Been here for 30 years. Grandma even flew back to UK when she got cancer cause it was cheaper than US med care. Dad has let his visa expire a few times over the years as well. They all turned into MAGAheads. Son was visiting dad who was railing about "immigrants". Kid looked at dad and called his ass out on it. Of course his response was not the European type of immigrants.

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u/hateloggingin 12d ago

It's the same conversation you'll have with your racist grandpa. "These damn (whoever) committing crimes and getting welfare, they should all die!". "But Grandpa, you were just hanging out with (soandso from that demographic) drinking beer and laughing". "No no...he's one of the good ones"

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u/pistoncivic 13d ago

This is the bedrock reactionary contradiction. They demand a steady flow of easily exploited cheap labor for maximum profit extraction but their extreme tribalism and xenophobia leads them to demonize those who fill that demand.

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u/scha_den_freu_de 13d ago

Not to mention, the post says it's paid in cash... So he's not paying any employer taxes or workers comp. It's an illegal under the table job.

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u/fieldysnuts94 13d ago

Many of these jobs bitching about lack of workers are the same type to be proud to have underpaid and overworked their employees and see no problem with that instead see a problem with doing the opposite

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u/SagaStrider 13d ago

Without hesitation.

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u/buefordwilson 13d ago

Yep. It sucks to suck when you're too blind to be able to comprehend the fact that it is currently an employee's market. $14/hour is laughable for this scope of work. Have fun with your shipments, dickwad.

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u/JustDiscoveredSex 12d ago

My 17 year old kid is averaging $22/hr in a food delivery job. The heaviest lifting requirement is under ten pounds and has far less than 35,000 total pounds.

Wild that they think $14 is somehow a “good” offer.

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u/Potato-Drama808 13d ago

The fact that no one wants his offer is very libertarian lol

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u/Spare-Prize5700 13d ago

Free market baby!

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u/Intelligent_Moose_48 13d ago

“Not like that!” - republicans

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u/Mr_Cleen 13d ago

Free market is when republicans control the market and socialism is when liberals control the market obviously. Come on this is economics for assholes here you should know this

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u/Liet-Kinda 12d ago

“The invisible hand of the free market wasn’t supposed to grab me by the nuts and twist” he gasped

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u/that1prince 13d ago

Libertarians aren’t Libertarians

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u/wrongitsleviosaa 13d ago

About as unexpected as the sun in the morning

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u/Maloth_Warblade 13d ago

Funny that with an entirely non regulated market they would want to pay even less

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u/theycallmeponcho 13d ago

Not only that. In a non regulated market we wouldn't have OSHA, laws forbidding child labor, and of course a minimum wage.

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u/Maloth_Warblade 13d ago

It's why I cannot understand libertarian economics. Corporate greed take many miles if you give them an inch

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u/Zerowantuthri 13d ago

A Libertarian would 100% agree that the wage has to fit the job. If you do not offer enough such that no one takes the offer then you need to offer more. Capitalism-101 and at the center of Libertarianism.

Which is why Libertarianism is worthless. As soon as they have to abide by their own standards and they don't like it they complain.

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u/Overall-Statement-67 13d ago

Libertarians are just conservatives that are too afraid to admit they stand by those ideologies. Or as someone else said "Libertarians are conservatives who just want to smoke weed".

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u/LVL15_Spice_Paladin 13d ago

Libertarians are just conservatives who want to fuck hipster women.

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u/newluna 13d ago

You don’t say.

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u/Comeandsee213 13d ago

I worked a similar job for my first job at 18, unloading big trucks. Worse job i ever had. I even worked with friends and it was just for the summer. Still, worse job i ever had.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/rogergreatdell 13d ago

Brain Flakes, either

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u/BoredNumb 13d ago

Isn't this capitalism in action? They put out an offer and the market responds. In this case the response was $14 an hour was not enough to do this job. I'm not sure I understand the issue this idiot is having with the situation.

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u/EYNLLIB 12d ago

That's exactly what this "labor shortage" people keep talking about is all about. It's not about there not being enough people to do the job, it's that the job isn't worth doing for the price offered. Businesses are just incapable of understanding that for the most part, and blame anyone and anything but themselves.

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u/likes2walkwithdog 13d ago

My buddy owns a high end dog kennel in a major city in the South. He says he is having a hard time finding help. I ask him how much he is paying his “kennel techs.” He says “$12 an hour, but I think even if I raised it I would have a hard time finding help, so I’m not going to raise it.” Sound logic. Good luck, man!

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u/Ready4aMuhsment 13d ago edited 12d ago

Considering 15 an hour is only around 30k a year. Yeah it's not fucking enough.

Edit 1: To the comments below. This is US based. So the benefits you get in other countries like the UK and Canada don't apply.

Edit 3: I'm deleting all the rest of my comments on food and the other. I simply just don't feel like arguing or even discussing anymore on the thread.

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u/Couldof_wouldof 13d ago

That's if you are working full time

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u/AverageCanadianGuy 13d ago

That's minimum wage in western Canada.

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u/helmet_baby 13d ago

Yeah, it's closer to $15k/year since it's part-time. So $15k + no insurance/benefits for literal back-breaking work..uhh, no thanks

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u/LigerZeroSchneider 13d ago

yeah thats 100% "you only work when we have a truck, also you need to have 100% availability because the schedule is dictated by when the truck shows up"

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u/ansteve1 13d ago

That's another thing I don't think these types get. Working hard labor with no heads up on a schedule or even a minimum amount of work is not getting reliable work. Reliable workers have jobs. No one is going to sit on their ass waiting on an employer to grace them a truck to work for an hour or 2 then kick them out again.

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u/b0w3n 13d ago

grace them a truck to work for an hour or 2 then kick them out again

But think of that smooth $24 after taxes you could have!

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u/RickRudeAwakening 13d ago

Menards pays high schoolers more than that - start at $17/hr.

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u/Work_the_shaft 13d ago

And yet you STILL save big money at Menards

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u/CELTICPRED 13d ago

That's cuz John Menard is a tax dodging chemical dumping weasel

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u/SkyPuncher 13d ago

Actually, they don't - but I only know because I happened to read the fine print at checkout. I don't remember the conditions, but it excluded students and ended in October. Actual pay is likely lower.

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u/FrostyD7 13d ago

Seems this is the case for a lot of places advertising their hourly pay, plenty of fine print to be found that makes it effectively a lie.

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u/Dv83r_ 13d ago

They hire them as stockers or cart pushers and don't get the $1 for being "in" the floor. The staring pay for a yard member that gets forklift pay and outside pay (both a dollar respectfully) is close to what they advertise when you come in but a little sleezy baiting people in. Plus there's a current $4/hr incentive pay until January normally it's just an extra $3.5 on just the weekends. Lots will quit when it ends. They also keep hiring part timers which don't make the $1 for being full time and will be over staffed during winter and be understaffed again the coming summer. Decent place to make side money promoting and managing is a hell of its own lol

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u/JapaneseStudentHaru 13d ago

Nope lol

I applied to there a few months ago and they straight told me the signs were inaccurate. Went in thinking I’d make $18 as a manager and they offered $14 for the same job.

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u/suitology 13d ago

Goodwill distribution center did that to me. Sign said $14.50 went in for the interview and they offered 8.25. I told them I cant work for a company too stupid to double check their signs.

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u/EnsignMJS 13d ago

Is this one of those jobs that Americans don't want but don't want immigrants to have? Quite the conundrum.

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u/Dr_Ingheimer 13d ago

I want to pay people in peanuts but only the people I want to pay. Also they need to be forever grateful for the opportunity for my peanuts.

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u/idiotdroid 13d ago

Reminds me when I worked at some shitty clothing store in the mall.

They gathered us around to tell us that we need to start promoting their credit cards and get as many people as we can to sign up for them.

I ask "What do we get if we get a customer to sign up for one?"

Manager says "Oh you need to get a lot more than just one, were thinking like 3 or 4 a day."

So I ask "Ok, so whats the incentive for getting 3-4 customers a day to sign up for the credit card?"

Manager says "You get to keep your job".

Wow! I get to keep my part time job that only schedules me twice a week for 4 hour shifts. I never bothered to pitch the credit card to any customer unless my manager was hovering over me.

Eventually they stopped putting me on the schedule. Wasn't fired, just "hey you are not working this week" every single week for months. I ended up finding another job that gave me hours and paid more. Months later, around Black Friday time, my manager calls me and asks me why I didn't show up for my shift. LMAO. I wasn't scheduled to work for like 2 months straight, and then they randomly decided to put me on. Then she was pissed I found another job and didn't tell her.

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u/PaopuTown_ 13d ago

Hilarious amount of audacity

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u/Fatalchemist 13d ago edited 13d ago

I love that story because I saw it happen to someone else when I worked at Walmart.

Everyone assumed one person left or quit. Whatever, it's not uncommon. Walmart has insane turnover. Some people come and leave before you even learn their name.

One day a manager is pissed off walking around the store telling everyone how upset he is that the person everyone assumed had left didn't show up for their shift.

It was exactly the same situation. The worker wasn't on a schedule for x amount of time. She moved on. And somehow Walmart assumed she would keep checking her schedule and wait around?

Managers have no fucking perception of reality sometimes. How do they expect someone to survive with no income for weeks when they already got paid minimum wage? And to just wait around graciously? The worker would have been absolutely fucked if she did what the managers expected. But they figured they are the center of the universe and everyone revolves around them.

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u/idiotdroid 12d ago

A lot of these types of jobs are straight up designed to take advantage of teenagers. They know most of us are living at home with our parents and don't really need the money.

At the same job, they tried to fuck us all the time on our paychecks. The typical "hey clock out your shift is over, but wait, don't leave yet because you still have to finish this work".

I could have just called them out on their shit, and say its illegal, but instead I would just make an excuse that I had school and needed to leave. My manager would just scoff and go "ugh, fine. you can leave".

But the reason I think I got kicked off the schedule, was because of our paychecks. Every time it was payday, they would have us sign this form and then hand us our paychecks. One day I actually read the form, and the gist of it was "I have looked over my paycheck and agree this is the amount I have earned". So I thought "oh, let me look at my paycheck first".

I grab my paycheck from the pile and my manager SCREAMS at me. Just freaking out that I need to sign first before looking at my paycheck. I tell her "It says on the form that I am agreeing that my paycheck is good, I need to see it first to decide that".

She screams "NO! YOU NEED TO SIGN FIRST THEN OPEN YOUR PAYCHECK".

I tell her "This is illegal, you can't hold my paycheck hostage. I need to see if the pay is correct before signing."

She throws my paycheck at me and is like "FINE! DO WHAT YOU WANT!"

Now my paycheck was fine, because I kept avoiding working off the clock, but I can imagine she didn't want me encouraging others to do the same.

2 years later, after leaving that job I get a letter in the mail about a class action lawsuit against them about wage theft, and asking if I want to be part of it. I agreed and ended up getting like $40 in the mail maybe several months after that.

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u/AreWeThenYet 13d ago

I would have buzzing with excitement waiting for that phone call.

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u/iLizfell 13d ago

Are they plain peanuts or you offering some sort of covering on them?

Asking for un amigo.

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u/TheRnegade 13d ago

unsalted almonds that have been found in the alley out back. If you're lucky, maybe some of them are a bit salty from being on the ground but no guarantees.

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u/michaelsenpatrick 13d ago

right on man a race to the bottom is a great plan

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u/RJ335 13d ago

So drive to rural TX and unload a truck for 3 hours for the prize of $42?

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u/KeystoneAgent 13d ago

"Here in the United States, you have freedom of choice and we absolutely respect that!"

Meanwhile,

"Omg nobody is choosing to work in my menial labor job for sub-par wages. Lazy d*ckheads."

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u/PigJack77 13d ago

It’s probably because they were trying to unload brain flakes, whatever the hell they are.

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u/CurlSagan 13d ago

It's the favorite breakfast cereal of choice for health-conscious zombies.

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u/CCerta112 13d ago

cerebral of choice

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u/tideblue 13d ago

I want to know how much this guy makes, if "$14/hour isn't enough." Maybe this is why people resent management? Hmm...

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u/Old-Car3379 13d ago

It's always the fuckers that have QoL things like a company car, phone, company gas card, near or the highest pay in the office, etc that bitch and moan about other people wanting raises.

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u/DarthSamwiseAtreides 13d ago

If you're semi competent in loading trucks you can load that in an hour with a partner. Chances are the part time bit is just for loads. It wouldn't be worth the gas to do that job.

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u/nuclaffeine 13d ago

You can say it’s crazy that $14/hr isn’t enough anymore, but you better be talking about how it’s crazy you can’t live off of $14/hr anymore. Pay needs to increase with cost of living and all employers that do anything but can fuck right off their high horse.

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u/overzeetop 12d ago

Healthcare has altered the bargain, and small employers (or, more specifically, small owners with spouses who get healthcare through a large corporate or govt job) are oblivious to the real cost of insurance. When a family of 3 has to pay $20k for coverage with a $7k deductible, $28,000/yr ($14/hr) without benefits isn’t even covering your premium. And I’m states that haven’t expanded Medicaid for low income, full time workers, you’re basically fucked.

Hell, my wife went back to work for a school system after our kid went to college. She makes $13/hr, 7h/day, 10 months a year…but in looking at her entire package it’s worth it because the health and other benefits more than double her compensation. Health used to be a nice extra. Now it’s worth more than an entire wage.

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u/Skoteleven 13d ago

The "cash" part is the deal breaker. Under the table/"independent contractor" jobs are just a way to get out of workers comp and labor laws.

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u/SprinklesFancy5074 12d ago

And a way to get around minimum wage laws and screw you over, too.

"Okay, this was supposed to be a 3-hour job which you'd get paid $14 per hour for, so that's $42. Here's your $42."

"But the job took 7 hours."

"Yeah, we were supposed to have 10 people, but we only had 4. But it's still only a 3-hour job, so you only get $42."

"$42 for 7 hours? That's only $6 per hour! You owe me $98!"

"No, it wouldn't have been a 7-hour job if you weren't slow. $42, take it or leave it."

"I'm going to the department of labor about this!"

"You don't even know my name. Now take your $42 and go."

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u/nadavcff 13d ago

It’s so hard to find good suckers these days

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u/SolomonCRand 13d ago

I started at $10 an hour at my first part-time job. In 2000.

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u/crackeddryice 13d ago

Yep, live and learn, $14/hr is NOT enough. So, pay more, or do the work yourself.

Sounds like you figured it out, chief.

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u/FabulousTrade 13d ago

(Before I start, Don't beat me up, I'm just asking because I don't know and want insight )

What wage would be considered appropriate for a position like this?

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u/Waxpapers 13d ago

It's complicated, but try to think about it in terms of what sort of salary the pay actually comes out to. MIT has a living wage calculator that says that for a single adult with no dependents in Texas, a living wage is $14 an hour- but that's assuming full time work, and this position says part-time. The most important number is the one for "Required annual income before taxes", which in Texas is about $29k. So a reasonable wage is going to depend on the number of hours this position gives, and whether they allow people to work other jobs- this doesn't just mean not telling them they're not allowed to have second jobs, but also working with their employees to make sure they avoid schedule conflicts and still have time to do things outside of work. If for example this job was 29 hours a week, the upper limit for part-time work and an amount which prevents employees from easily working a second job, the minimum livable wage would be $20/hr.

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u/FabulousTrade 13d ago

Wow. That living wage calculator helped a lot. Thanks for the link.

I have come across scheduling conflicts that led me to turning down work, so I've definitely found myself stuck with the higher paying (but not enough to live on) job. I even took a at-call job that constantly called me when I was working the first job. It sucked that I had to drop one.

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u/lonefrontranger 13d ago

two enormous red flags are that it’s part time and cash only. This means that there’s no guarantee of hours or longevity, and the employer has no plans to pay for benefits, social security taxes, workman’s comp or any of the other niceties of legal employment. There’s tons of other liabilities for the employee in that situation as well.

Someone willing to do something this shady can promise whatever they want and then just not fucking pay you at all and you will be out your time and compensation with no real way to force the issue.

edit: if it’s a one-off three or four hour unloading gig it might not be worth the gas to make the trip, would be my guess.

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u/raikumori 13d ago

I'd say a bigger issue in this instance is the part time part.

That means you probably don't have any benefits (other than the pay, ofc), can't take any time off, and are at the beckon call of the employer.

It's really hard to plan life around that kind of shit. Never know how many hours you need to be somewhere, or what hours they'll be. Child care, budgeting, any plans, etc. all become pretty much impossible.

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u/justflushit 13d ago

If that’s what you offer and no one shows up then I guess there is nothing else you can do…. Unless you’ve taken Econ 101.

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u/1Sluggo 13d ago

Brain Flakes?

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u/loradan 13d ago

Brain Flakes are what the brain needs when being used. Since this is Texas, they were shipping them out to another state.

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u/United_Pepper_436 13d ago

He can pay me $14/hr to stand there and watch him load

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u/Made-a-blade That's what she said 13d ago

The lazy bums don't want to work but are stealing our jobs!

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u/WimpyLimpet 13d ago

The average rent cost in TX is around $1550 a month. At $14 an hour, it will take about 110 hours of work at this rate to cover rent.

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u/Willinton06 13d ago

Rural Texas rents are waaaaay lower tho, like not saying this is a good offer, just saying a 1500 rent in rural Texas is a big ass place

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u/PM_MeUrGiantTits_Plz 13d ago

Crazy that $29,120/year before taxes "isnt enough anymore"? When was that ever enough? That's what I don't get about people saying $15/hour is too much. They never convert it to yearly and see how little it really is.